Lahdeedah's World

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Location: Colorado, United States

I've found a place to be, here in Colorado. I am enjoying what comes my way while raising my children and writing my head off in this crazy, chaotic life.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A spare thought

There is feeling lonely, and feeling lonely and being able to appreciate the feeling properly, with a cigarette, a drink, and the right ambience.

The right ambience is not a busy house full of kids and cats and noise.

It's quiet, sounds from the street, or woods or whatever is outside your window intruding your thoughts on a night where the wind is a bit warm and you can smell long summer nights coming, where you have the fan on, and its sound only brings to you a longing for stars in a distant, long-gone sky, an almost painful memory of winding youthful roads and a pull for something you can't reach, can't touch, can't feel, can only long for, while everyone else moves on.

That would be appropriate lonliness, an acceptable lonliness, where you transition from one point to another, from one phase of life to another.

Not this empty space where you stand still, lonely in a place that is not familiar, with fog on the road ahead and only curves behind you. What is this place? This loud, messy existence that whirls around when you only want to stop it all, think about it for a while, and move peacefully along, the next happy place clear ahead. But instead, it is more noise, and more fog and looking behind offers no clues as to what is ahead, except that it is another stretch of lonely road.

Monday, May 29, 2006

A new chapter

Six pages of chapter 11, and a plot that has untangled itself. It's really annoying when you get stuck on a bit you know is important, but just isn't working. Then, you turn it around and bammo, it makes sense, and not only makes sense, will tie in two other plot lines.

Go me.

The rewrite is soooo going to be a bitch though.

Still, only 9 to 10 more to go....

After this one, I'm either going to give up and go romance, or try my hand at something a bit more introspective. It honestly depends on which outline is the most complete and which idea has the most notes.

On a depressing note, classes start this week. More time away from writing. Great. Just what I needed.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


I am really having difficulty with this novel. I think I strayed too far from its outline, so now, after putting it off for a couple of months, I have to accept it. I need to go back, re-read it, and reorganize it so it doesn't stray. The good news is I think it only strayed in two or three chapters.

That is what I'll be doing tonight. Reorganizing, reoutlining, and whining about it.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

A new blog

Because one just isn't enough.

This one is going to wax on poetic.