A spare thought

There is feeling lonely, and feeling lonely and being able to appreciate the feeling properly, with a cigarette, a drink, and the right ambience.

The right ambience is not a busy house full of kids and cats and noise.

It's quiet, sounds from the street, or woods or whatever is outside your window intruding your thoughts on a night where the wind is a bit warm and you can smell long summer nights coming, where you have the fan on, and its sound only brings to you a longing for stars in a distant, long-gone sky, an almost painful memory of winding youthful roads and a pull for something you can't reach, can't touch, can't feel, can only long for, while everyone else moves on.

That would be appropriate lonliness, an acceptable lonliness, where you transition from one point to another, from one phase of life to another.

Not this empty space where you stand still, lonely in a place that is not familiar, with fog on the road ahead and only curves behind you. What is this place? This loud, messy existence that whirls around when you only want to stop it all, think about it for a while, and move peacefully along, the next happy place clear ahead. But instead, it is more noise, and more fog and looking behind offers no clues as to what is ahead, except that it is another stretch of lonely road.